Festivus by Allen Salkin

Author:Allen Salkin [SALKIN, ALLEN]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: HUM007000
ISBN: 9780446545914
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2008-10-10T04:00:00+00:00

Courtney did not take it well when her sister told her she was the dumbest girl in first grade

“Stop laughing at your own jokes.”

“You write bad poetry.”

“We know you listen to techno.”

We were starting to run out of bad things to say to each other. So we started pretending that we had other guests by doing intrepretations of them. For example, I remember telling John in my grandma’s voice, “John, your pants are too long. You can’t see your nice shoes!” and then making it more of a general grandmother’s complaint: “I don’t like Alanis Morrissette. Her hair is too stringy,” and “I like Celine Dion, but she’s a wretched-looking thing,” and “Boys who have dreadlocks will murder you in the streets!”

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